chappygrossnickel asked: 1. If consent includes bystanders, where should the line be drawn in terms of not displaying sexuality? Would I reasonable to be offended if I saw two people kissing or holding hands or are genitals part of the standard? 2. If I am offended by lesser sexual acts (kissing, necking, holding hands), what would be a reasonable reaction on my part for the transgression of my consent? 3. Are the black participants in raceplay suffering the same moral deficiency that whites in that scene? Could the s
I feel like this is trolling, but I’ll take the bait.
1. That would depend largely on where you are. E.g. sexuality as displayed in a nightclub is quite different to what you’d display in a playground. There is not one standard.
2. Yes, the “anyone could be offended by anything” argument. Instead of getting into some argument about postmodernism which is where it seems like anon is taking us, I’m just gonna say this: You know how you rent a movie or turn on the TV and there are ratings advice? Those are set by social norms in addition to psychological theory that suggests what people should be exposed to at various ages. If are really that confused, follow this. (See #1)
3. If you read what I posted about this, you’ll notice that I mentioned two things. One was that I take issue with pictures that make no reference to race being put in a racialized context without the consent of the PoC participants. The second point I’ve made is that in terms of porn, as with all form of sex work, sometimes we have to make sacrifices and that includes being fetishized if we aren’t normative. I am saying this as a non-normative white sex worker. I have no interest in moralism, I’m interested in real-life harm.
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I would prefer to be anonymous on this one, but yeah. Taking a fetish picture with your child is SERIOUSLY NOT OK.
(Mod note: Sexualizing children is so disgusting and is in fact a form of sexual abuse).
i don’t know what yiff or yaoi or shota is but they all sound like things a surprised cowboy would exclaim
Because the blog has been quiet and this just seemed sort of relevant somehow
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Anonymous asked: Wow your just another bloody minded kill joy, who the fuck are you to tell people what they can and can't do, fuck off back under your bridge troll. Stop condemning people for there fruitiness you complete fucktard
Oh wow anon you’re right all this time I’ve just been a fucktard but you have shown me the light thank you!
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lelaphantnotbroccolisaur asked: I've seen you make posts about how the terms "slut," "whore," etc are demoralizing for women, but isn't that what being a sub is all about? My boyfriend loves when I call him my sex toy and talk about how he's only good for one thing. I "punish" him and demean him for enjoying sex, but only because he enjoys it. It's all a game. He knows the insults mean nothing. So do you think the words "slut" and "whore" are inherently bad, even if their use is enjoyed?
As an *actual whore* I resent my job being fetishized, for starters. I am not saying anything is inherently demoralizing for women, I am saying it comes from a culture that does. BDSM culture grew out of mainstream culture and has many of the same peculiarities, one of which is women being submissive to men. As a submissive AFAB genderqueer person I feel I can acknowledge the societal context in which my sexuality developed and exists.
ftmbiter asked: Do you think it's good that a slave who is still infatuated with his ex-mistress starts a new relation? I asked you for your opinion on my identity in bdsm scene (pre-t transboy). I met a slave at a party and I like him. He likes me too and we played during the party and now I'm texting with him. He just broke up with his miss and he is totally fucked up because she doesn't want him anymore but continue to use him when she want to. What should I do? I surely don't wanna be a replacement.
Wow, I am so bad at giving advice I have no idea. What I’m gathering from this ask is that your concern is that you’re being used as a rebound? If that is the case, I guess it’s about whether or not this is purely a sexual relationship or if there is an emotional aspect. Really, it’s up to you what you want to do but when you said “I surely don’t wanna be a replacement” it sounds like you already answered your own question. Followers want to weigh in?
Anonymous asked: 2. I'm fully aware that BDSM is problematic and that it enforces racist and sexist ideals. I'm aware that my Daddy!kink is probably a result of the emotional abuse I suffer at the hands of my father, and from a resulting urge to find validation of my self worth at the hands of men. I know that it could be dangerous. But I honestly think that there's hope for me, that I'll be able to indulge in this kink privately with a partner who respects me. Should I even try? I feel ashamed about it already.
Usually I’d copy/paste to show both parts of the MSG but as I only have the net on my phone right now I can’t do that, sorry.
in my opinion these are all very personal decisions and you certainly don’t need anyone else’s permission. Many people have kinks that are unrelated to any previous (abusive) experiences though if you feel yours are, that is okay and it doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. If you want to explore the possibility that these feelings are a result of abuse, there’s a book I read years ago called “the sexual healing journey” that you might find helpful (I read it as a survivor trying to sort out my own confusing sexual feelings). You could investigate that possibility while also exploring your fantasies. If you want to pursue your fantasies then absolutely do so in a way that is comfortable and safe for you. You have nothing to be ashamed of and speaking to others who have similar fantasies might help you work through that. Sometimes just acknowledging our feelings - even ones we think are bad or wrong - takes the power out of them. As for it being potentially problematic, my advice is as always just to be mindful of where and how you express yourself as consent includes bystanders, even on the internet. Does that answer your question?
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My wife/slave is pregnant with our third child. We had hospital births with our other children and are going with a home birth this time. She wants to have this baby fully chained (ankles and wrists) as she says that this will allow her to express her submissive/slave side and provide a unique aspect to the experience. After searching the internet, I am starting to believe that it is a truly unique experience since there are no testimonials that I could find except of prison inmates. The birth is several months off, and we have talked with our midwife about it. The midwife is very supportive (she is a big advocate in individualizing birth plans) and says that she had no safety concerns since the chains will be able to be removed easily. I am writing in this forum because I wanted the point of view of the feelings of a slave/submissive on this desire of hers (she would not post a question like this herself).
“The restraints will be real not symbolic, but for the ankles there will be plenty of chain (approx 36in). She is a stay at home mom and sometimes spends days in loose chains (meaning that the cuffs are locked on her ankles but she can tie a long scarf around her waist and weave it through the center link, allowing easy walking).”
oh my god yes
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